Garden

Jinx was fed up.

"I don't care what the best matrix for resonating against the probability field of Rainmoor is! I don't even know what a matrix is! And I don't care if I never see the place again, do you hear me?"

"But Jinx," protested Mick, "we gotta get these people back home! They can't just live here. The land won't support them."

"And what do you expect me to do about it?"

"Now, nobody said it was going to be fair," soothed Mick, "but you're the focus point- if they're ever going to get Rainmoor back, they'll be needing you. They'll be needing you. Happens that your leaving may have caused the probability collapse in the first place..."

"You're blaming that on me now?"

"Well, I wouldn't like to say blame," said Mick, but Jinx had had enough.

"I quit! Or at least, I quit for today! I'm going for a walk and I don't want to see any of you people here when I get back..."

Elanor ostentatiously ignored this, licking her paw to illustrate her complete nonchalance as Jinx headed for the door. When he was outside, he went to bang the door, only to realize he'd nearly whacked Peter- now First Lord Peter- with it.

"What do you want?" he asked Peter, brusquely, but didn't hit him with the door yet.

The man replied, "What I want, Jinx, is to go for a walk too. Please, settle down..."

"So, go." said Jinx, holding the door open for him.

Peter looked at Jinx quietly. "No- I meant, go for a walk with you. Julia and I missed you, Jinx. I haven't seen you for months and months. How has it been for you in Full Hollow?"

Jinx sagged, realizing he wasn't giving Peter enough credit. "It's all right." he said in a small voice. "...Jinx is sorry for being angry with you..."

Peter slipped deftly through the door, shut it, glanced over his shoulder warily and then hugged Jinx with great conviction. "Not a bit of it. Let's have that walk..."

...

It was getting on toward winter, and the trees glowed in their autumn colors as First Lord Peter and King Jinx, technically of Rainmoor, walked half-trodden paths. Neither spoke- silence was their companion as they headed deeper and deeper into the forest, leaving the conflict and hubbub of Full Hollow's unexpected new city behind them. The rhythms of nature took over- for the first time all day, Jinx could sense dusk approaching, the subtle connection to the surrounding world that had been knocked right out of him by Kingly demands. While he'd been surrounded by people, the world had become baffling, quick, and hollow- a posturing shell throwing up mocking flashes of meaning and then changing around completely in an eyeblink, to a pattern Jinx could not identify.

Now, finally, after little more than an hour of walking in the woods, the ocean of stability in which he lived began to seep back into him, like a momentary cool breeze giving him relief, reminding him that scant days ago his world was Elanor, his cabin, and his neighbor Mick. Had it been even a week since he'd met the shy hunter Alan? Where was Alan now? Surely he had vanished into the woods at first sight of the crowd of Rainmoor refugees. Jinx looked around, but knew it was futile. If he were alone, it might be that the wary Alan would show himself, if he were even in the area. But Jinx was not alone. Although his trusted friend Peter was even now silent, evidently appreciating the peace of the setting as much as Jinx himself was, the man was dressed in Rainmoor finery- no denizen of Full Hollow would approach him. With Jinx's tigerish form frightening away forest animals, and Peter's outsider appearance discouraging any Full Hollow denizens who might be nearby, the forest gave a picture of total solitude- a living solitude, one that had room for a person passing through it.

"It's been good- up to now."

Peter looked sharply at Jinx, and then realised this was the answer to the question he'd asked an hour ago, as they began their walk- a question that turned out to be so big that it took an hour of quiet walking to fully encompass it. He looked around, at the peaceful living forest, and back at his striped feline friend, and lifted an eyebrow. "Has it, Jinx? That's wonderful."

"It was. Can we not talk about that part?" asked Jinx, dejectedly.

They walked on, the brief exchange causing their moods to drift in contrary directions. Jinx grew more morose, and looked around as if he'd been sentenced to banishment and would never see trees again- he was weighted by the sense that his life had whirled out of his grasp once more, a sense of futility and disaster and loss.

Peter, on the other hand, was given furiously to think- his capable mind wrought with love and duty and sympathy. He had always been fond of Jinx- in other circumstances, the bipedal tiger might have become a cosseted pet. Instead, Jinx had become his King and master- but was still the simple creature Peter had met in Rainmoor, and no more happy about being in the place than he'd ever been. Peter suspected Jinx had never really been at home anywhere- and it was disconcerting to realize that, after succeeding to the throne of Rainmoor, he had gone off and found his home elsewhere.

"Jinx... please, can we talk about that part? I have to think that perhaps I can help."

Jinx regarded his friend sadly. "What's there to help? I'm glad you gave me a little time to be alone with my world before I go. Are you going to start confusing me again? Can it wait until we get back?"

"No," said Peter, "I don't think I need to confuse you. But it looks like you're losing something very important, and I'd really like to know what it is. I think I may understand."

"What does it matter? Your feeling sorry for me won't change anything. I promise, I won't run away again. I thought I could..."

Peter studied his friend, touched. "Could what?"

At this, Jinx's eyes glistened, and he said, "Fit." and turned away.

Peter couldn't bear that, and gently turned the grieving tiger around to embrace him protectively, which snapped Jinx's tenuous self-control, and for a while the King wept bitterly into the shoulder of his First Lord. Even while petting Jinx soothingly, Peter thought to himself, "...and is this so strange, really? It is just like having a child King..." except that the 'child' was a tall, powerful, wild creature, but still no more prepared for the duties of royalty than any child.

And so, thought Peter, my own duties must needs be not only counsel, but also support- and that, promptly, as we're tearing Jinx away from what must be the only home he's ever known.

He said, softly, "Can you tell me what you will miss, Jinx? You will have Elanor, and you'll have me, and the others you care about. We won't desert you. To us, you fit."

Jinx thought, in spite of his distress. He wasn't able to speak at first, but Peter did not rush him, and when he found his voice again it was steady and quiet.

"The woods are peaceful. But... not dead peaceful. Sometimes I've wanted to be dead because it would be peaceful, but I didn't realize there was such a thing as alive peaceful until I lived here a while. Me and Elanor didn't have any trouble, finding food or firewood or making our cabin. I thought that Elanor would frighten away all the animals, but I didn't understand..."

Peter made an interrogative noise, gently, not wanting to stop Jinx but hoping to nudge him into speaking more, and, gazing into the middle distance with still-moist eyes, the tiger did.

"That was when I knew, you see. That was when I understood. Elanor hunted, and it made animals keep their distance, but not as far as I'd thought- and eventually I noticed that they made room for each other as well. I watched a squirrel get mad at a raccoon one day. The raccoon made a home for himself too near where the squirrel lived, and the squirrel cursed him out for an hour and then moved just a stone's throw away- moved his nuts and things to where they'd be safe- and settled back down again. That's when I realized they had done the same thing over Elanor and me- and I knew that we lived here."

Peter nodded, thoughtfully, but Jinx wasn't finished.

"Once I knew that, it started to sink in. I would go for walks in the woods and scuff my feet in the leaves to show I wasn't hunting, and my fur is a bright color compared to other animals, and they would understand. I would hear the sound of birds and animals making space around me, giving me room without me even having to ask them. Sometimes I would get too close to an animal or bird's home, and it would be upset and scream at me or try and lead me away from its nest, and you know what? I would go away and be sure not to bother it again. I must know twenty places now, where something lives. I leave them alone and they leave me alone..."

"Is that it? Being alone?" asked Peter.

"I used to think so," said Jinx, "but there's more than that. I don't know how to explain it very well. It's an alive peaceful, and that's special." He started to look rebellious. "What if I refuse to leave? I want to stay here."

At that, Peter began to speak, and then stopped himself, and replaced the line of "you can't" he was about to spin with a simple question. "What is so much worse about Rainmoor, Jinx, that you refuse to go to it?"

Jinx's ears laid back, just hearing the question. "It's out of control. It scares me, nothing's real, and anyway it's broken now. Can't we find some better place to go? Why Rainmoor?"

"Because, Jinx- it's yours."

Jinx just stared at his friend.

"No, Jinx, I mean it. You are King. Rainmoor is yours now- in a way one could say it is you, now. Since you've rejected it, it's breaking down in despair and frustration. We don't know exactly what Rainmoor is, but it forms itself around thoughts. It wants to be yours, now."

Jinx stared worse. "But I don't want it! I just want my forest, and to be left alone!"

Peter said intensely, "It would make itself into a forest for you given the chance! You don't understand what Rainmoor really is. It needs you, and it's formed itself around your mind as best it could. Except, all it saw of your mind was you, leaving, and rejecting it completely..."

"I broke it?"

Peter hastily added, "No! Well, not exactly. It is you, now, as you were when you left it. But did you have the peace you've learned in these forests, when you left Rainmoor?"

"Of course not. I just wanted to run away from everything. I never had peacefulness until everything quieted down for long enough. A couple months of not seeing anybody ever, and then more months of only seeing Mick sometimes, and things were quiet enough. Peter, I don't want to give that up." said Jinx.

"I'm just trying to work out how you won't have to, Jinx. Possibly we could make a forest-like place in Rainmoor for you? Historically, some First Lords greatly prefer a King who stays out of their way and lets them run things."

"Andrew wouldn't like that," said Jinx thoughtfully.

"That's very perceptive, Jinx, indeed he wouldn't. But Andrew is not King. May I ask if you'll be willing to try Rainmoor again? We've really no option, and at that we'd better be quick about it, because this land won't support such a load of added people."

"How am I supposed to try it when it's broken?" asked Jinx.

"I don't know! We'll think of something. But you must."

Jinx considered this, flat-eared and resentful. It was appalling- but there was a great deal of truth to it. He had the population of several small towns on his doorstep, and at that it was only those he and Mick and Vernon had been able to save. He hadn't asked for his life to be turned upside down, but now it was, and Peter seemed willing to think of ways to make it easier on him.

Which of course led to the obvious question. "But... how? What can you even try to do?" asked Jinx. He stared hard at Peter. "You're behaving like I could go there, and it looks to me like nothing could. You have to have some idea. Tell me that one, so I know what I'm in for."

Peter sighed. "I was hoping I could gloss over that part and have you motivated purely on emotional grounds, though that is a daft notion considering how you detest the place. Jinx, it would have to involve magic..." and he trailed off, as if unwilling to even broach the subject.

Jinx lashed his tail, swatting Peter sharply on the leg and startling the man, and declared, "Why, look, Peter- I'm stuck with it! Why, my whole body is the result of it! Now I have to go run a whole... I don't even know what it is, but it's loaded with magic too! Maybe you need to tell me more about it, even though we both know I don't like it."

Peter regarded his King and friend in a new way. "May I ask why you are suddenly tolerant of the stuff? I had you pegged as loathing it."

Jinx looked right back. "May I answer that I have no choice? ...but that's not the whole truth, really. Did you know that Mick saved Elanor's life with magic? More than that, he uses a different sort..."

"No, he doesn't," said Peter, "it's quite the same stuff. He what?"

"It seems different, Peter. It's not all flash- the way he does it, there's something more natural about it. Oh, and he made me use it, and it worked- we saved her."

"Do tell! Jinx, you must tell me about this, I had no idea. You gave me to understand life here was quite bucolic, and someone was trying to kill Elanor? That's terrible!"

"Something, actually. A little pig, she said."

Peter blinked. "You're joking. How could a... no, wait, I remember. She got in a fight with a wild boar, did she? And you and Mick saved her?"

"She reared up at it, which was a bad mistake, and it tore up her belly with its little horns..."

"Tusks, technically, and I can well believe it."

Jinx nodded. "Mick said I did most of the work."

"What, exactly," asked Peter, "did you do? You haven't the background for elaborate spellcasting."

"I have some sort of King power that lets me heal my mate. It feels like water flowing down my arms when I do it. I did some of it, and Mick said she was dying and to shut up and heal, and I just shut my eyes and healed as hard as I could... and he said that was a lot. It did work..."

"There are times when you've had to resist magic, too- and you proved equal to that as well. I think it possible, Jinx, that you have an aptitude."

"No," said Jinx, "I feel fine."

Peter chuckled. "Oh, come on! I suspect you're teasing me. What I mean, Jinx, is that you've a natural gift for working magic. It may be thanks to your part-tiger brain for all I know- the important thing is, you've got the capacity for it."

"Suppose that's true." said Jinx. "What, exactly, do you want me to do?"